Thursday, April 19, 2012

One Year Ago

One year ago I wrote a blog about running my second half marathon -- the Oshkosh half marathon. I dedicated songs to each of my wonderful MFP friends. And just like life ... lots of things have changed since then. Some of those people are no longer a crucial part of my life, other people I have met in the last year who are my world, and others who I have gotten even closer to in the last year. 
During the Oshkosh half marathon last year, there was freezing rain, sleet, hail, and snow along with the wind. I finished the race ... turned in an awesome time for me... and almost got hypothermia in the process. But I still finished.  
This year I am not going to dedicate songs to anyone, I am just simply going to compare last year to this year.
Last year I arrived at the start line 248 pounds. I was nervous if I could even finish the race. I had to dedicate songs to people because I needed a reason to run. I was scared ... so scared ... and nervous that I would not make it.
This year I will arrive at the start line 233 pounds. I am no longer nervous that I wont finish because I have run nine other half marathons. I am 100% in control of myself tomorrow. I am not just hoping to finish, but I am hoping to PR! I made a playlist of songs, not songs that make me happy, but songs that PUSH me to keep a faster cadence.
This last year has been a rough one for me. Just read my blog "Death of a Marathon Dream" that I wrote in October. I did the rehab ... I did the physical therapy ... and I am back stronger than ever. Ok so I have a bit of a shin splints problem, but I am working through it and I am NOT going to let that stop me! 
 Last year I was hoping to break into the world of running and this year I am firmly in the middle of it. I have friends that qualified and ran the Boston Marathon. I have a friend who won the 50 mile race last year, and yet texted me good luck tomorrow on my goal to break 3:10. Yes this is nothing to her, but a true friend recognizes the struggled of others. I have friends who actually pace for the Cliff Bar team. Seriously some of the most elite runners in our area... are my friends? Is this an alternate universe?... 
And what I realize, when I hang out with the wonderful people above, is that they are inspired by my struggle. They are inspired by my positive attitude, and lastly that they all started out slow and heavy too ... even though you wouldnt believe it to look at them now. This means there is hope for me someday too ... right?
For now I am just happy being me. I ran into a friend at the expo today who I have not seen in months and she texted me tonight and said "wow you look great -- and soo happy." And yes thats me ... I am becoming more confident in myself, my appearance. And that ... is even better than weight loss in my book!
Thanks to all of my friends for supporting me in my journey along the way. :) 

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